Source: http://mummynew.blogspot.com/2010/10/daisychainbabys-2nd-birthday-baffle-for.html
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wild Mother Arts Nursing Necklace Giveaway
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Attention marketplace
Source: http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/11/23/attention-marketplace/
A Mother's Lament
Dark, windy mornings and getting fingers in mittens
Fussing, complaining and having a good whinge
These are a few of my favorite things
Kids who are moany, walls covered with doodles
Dora The Explorer and uneaten chicken noodles
Small boys who cry when their brother takes their things
These are a few of my favorite things
Boys in their dress ups which ends up with bashes
Hurricanes in November and men with moustaches
Febreze and Dettol, panty liners with wings
These are a few of my favorite things
When the kids fight
When the bin stinks
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feeeeeeeeeeeeeel so bad.
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/11/mothers-lament.html
Monday, November 29, 2010
La Maison du Maman
An interesting social experiment took place in our house today. It didn't start out as that, but it sort of turned into one. It started out as a disagreement over where and what we were going to have for tea (rolls eyes heavenwards).
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/09/la-maison-du-maman.html
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Stay Sane This Christmas by Making Wise Decisions
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Vegetarian Foodie Fridays #27
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The sun sets and the sun rises
My sister recently mentioned that every 20 months her career goes through an upheaval: new opportunities, inter-state moves, negotiations, lots of soul searching, etc. I thought, "Huh. That's interesting."
And then it hit me: I'm on the precipice of one of the greatest upheavals of my life. Bigger than moving away to a new state where I knew no one. Bigger than being jobless for 18 months. Bigger than weddings and graduations and new jobs. My life as I know it is irrevocably changing forever in a matter of weeks. Never to go back. Never to be the same. Never to be duplicated. It feels as big as birth or as emotional as death.
Yesterday I toured the floorplan of the new apartment I'm leasing in the beginning of December. Something about its plain-ness, its beige-ness, really hit me in the gut. The home that I've immersed myself in for the last four-and-a-half years is about to be a thing of the past. The wall colors, the drawer-pulls, the painstakingly chosen and placed decor are all going to be crumpled up into boxes and spit out into a beige, two-bedroom apartment with crown molding.
I've never felt very emotional about this house before now. Anthony and I always said it wasn't our Forever Home. It needed too many upgrades and re-designs to feel like our last home together, but here I am, three weeks away from walking away from it forever and I feel like I'm about to saw off my arm.
I paced the tiles of this house for hours while in labor. I brought my baby home here and have watched him blossom in its strange nooks and crannies. Anthony and I felt safe here, home here. Our friends have always loved it here and remark on its welcoming energy.
I've gotten to know wonderful people who live in the neighborhood who are always game to drink margaritas with me and hang out under my looming oak tree in the sweltering Texas heat, shootin' the shit, letting our children toddle around together and slowly, gently getting to know one another. Hollis romps in the front yard as I lounge in a lawn chair.
Of course, the house is a symbol only. It's just a place, a thing. The real issue here is change, upheaval. It's here. Dark, massive, and brooding, pounding on my door. I cannot ignore it any longer. Like my Feelings, Change will not be put off. I must answer its call.
When things happen for me they tend to happen all at once. Much like when Dad was dying and a million massive life events were happening simultaneously, my life today is also in tumult beyond just the house and its reasons for abandoning it.
I have a major career exam to take and pass; I must find a job; I must re-learn how to support myself; I must separate from Hollis to earn a living; I must find a place for Hollis to be taken care of while I'm away.
Only yesterday did any of this creep into my lizard brain. I've essentially been pretending my own life isn't happening to me. How convenient, right??
I've told Hollis that he and I are moving into a new apartment together and that Daddy is moving into the house. He says, "Ooh, nice! We get to have a new pawpawtment, Mommy?"
And I say, "Yes, honey. It will be our new home."
"Oh. Ok, Mommy. That's vewy nice," he chirps back.
Early this morning, before dawn, I heard Hollis' door crack open and his little feet pound down the hall to my door. "Mommy?" he calls out. "Awe you in hewe?"
"Yes, baby," I croak from deep under piles of covers. I think I slept 4 hours last night; I kept waking up expecting something out of my reach. Sleep was fitful, my dreams intense, my body kinked with tension.
He climbs up into bed with me and snuggles into the down pillows and comforter. Soon he was softly purring through his nose and I drifted off to a deep blue place of peace and ease -- like the icy calm you see in the documentaries of sea life beneath colossal glaciers. A place where I didn't worry, I didn't orchestrate, I didn't do anything except just be. I floated in this place of calm, cool navy and azure for an hour. It lapped at my skin and slipped over my limbs languidly.
Then Hollis awakens, pats me, and asks, "Where's Daddy?? Where my Daddy is?"
I blinked through the soft gray light oozing into the room. "Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore, baby." -- God, I hate telling him that -- "Do you miss him?"
"Uh huh," he affirms.
"I miss him, too."
I feel as though I am taking a deep breath before a dive. I will be digging down into myself to get through the next several weeks. Yet, by far the coolest thing about all of this is that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will get through it and land on my feet. I can't see how it won't happen. It's just what I do: I land on my feet.
Yesterday Hollis and I were driving to the store for firewood at dusk and he mentioned how beautiful he thought the pink and blue of the sky was. "What is that, Mommy?" he wonders.
"When the sun goes down we call it a sunset; it lights up the sky in the west."
"Oh."
"And when the sun comes up in the east, we call it a sunrise."
"Sunwise," he parrots.
"Yes, sunrise," I say.
Indeed. A sunrise on a new life and a new me. A sunrise restarts the clock and resets the heart. A sunrise is hope. A sunrise is unavoidable.
I welcome the sunrise.
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ThisIsWorthwhile/~3/HtXOulXaQ6Y/sun-sets-and-sun-rises.html
Weekend Giveaway: Willette Photography
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Massive 9/11 Case Settles as Plaintiffs Meet 95% Threshold
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Vegetarian Foodie Fridays #27
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4 things to love this month
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/10/4-things-to-love-this-month.html
Friday, November 26, 2010
Dissecting the trivial
Source: http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/11/23/dissecting-the-trivial/
Wise words
As I finished reading Roald Dahl's 'Danny, the Champion of the World' to my five-year-old last night, I was struck by the words at the very end of the book:
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/09/wise-words.html
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Gossip
Vegetarian Foodie Fridays #26
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Gossip
50,000 words!
Yep, 50,000 words. A lot of words. The number of words me and thousands of other writers are aiming to write before the end of this month. Why? Simply because November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo as it is know to its friends. The idea of this initiative is to get procrastinating wannabe novelists and writers, such as me, to JUST WRITE. Hammer it all out, get it down on paper/screen and go back to it in December to faff about with the commas and the apostrophes and to correct the terrible sentence formation and shockingly bad dialogue.
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/11/50000-words.html
Breastfeeding and Signing
On Monday, Alicia from Lactation Narration guest posted on Natural Parents Network about learning to sign with babies and toddlers, and on Code Name: Mama about the many signs for “breastfeeding.” If you haven’t seen the post about breastfeeding signs, you’ve got to [...]
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Yodle and Attorney Advertising
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Vegetarian Foodie Fridays #27
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What the hell am I looking at here?
Source: http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/11/16/what-the-hell-am-i-looking-at-here/
Spy car
Where, oh where, are my feelings?
I used to be too sensitive. Now I hardly feel.
The past several months have been an extended climax of emotion and pain and it's as if it's happening to someone else. I have removed me from myself and am now driving a body forward, but am no longer experiencing it first hand. I'm exhausted.
I wake up, I smile, I love my boy, I feel free and happy, but it is so one-note. One color. One flavor. The deeper nuances are out of my reach. I am numb.
I signed a lease for a new apartment last week. Rooster is moving back into the house and I'm moving out the first week in December. It makes sense: I can't do yard work or fix a goddamned thing. He needs the garage and shed for all his crap. I'm over the moon about it, really. Seriously. I have visions of a maintenance man at my beck and call, manicured grounds, a pool that cleans itself, a walk to the grocery store, a little closer to downtown and my friends who live north.
It's such a strange mix, numbness and happiness. On the one hand I am protected, on the other I am held distant from really connecting. I call it The Wall. I've been accused of having it and warned of its ability to make me miss out on things, but then again, that's what I love about it. Its other super power is apathy: I don't give a shit if I'm missing out on things. (I feel like I'm finally understanding all the asshole boys I dated in my 20s. They really and truly didn't feel anything after all! It can happen!)
Though, to be honest it's not shielding me from worry. I do worry that all of these things I'm not feeling are going to come back and bite me in the ass. Yet, I also believe in the process -- oh, how I believe in the process -- and that what's happening to me and how I'm handling myself is the exactly right thing to be doing.
You see what's happening here? Up, down, back and forth. Holy crap, I'm a bloody mess.
When Rooster and Hawk were in Kansas City for a week last week I hung out with an awesome blogger (holla, Allison!) Friday, Saturday I went to Bloggy Boot Camp (more on that later), immediately after the conference I drove to San Antonio (1.5 hours away) for a surprise 59th & 70th birthday party, drove back to Austin and caught the tail end of a bachelor party including a party bus and drinking until 3:30 am. Sunday, I was spent. And raw.
I could feel a mountain of emotions just around the corner (exhaustion and being hungover will do that to me, apparently). A friend came over for interior design advice and I could feel the tears prick in my eyes as we looked at catalogs to feather his nest. I remember poring over images looking for just the right pillow or rug to make our house a home. Now I spend all my time cataloging just how to dismantle it. Which couch to take, which plates, which decor.
Pluck, pluck, pluck. The nest is gone.
When my friend left the tears had vanished, as had the tremor of emotion that had begun. I was back to Robot Jessica. And so I did something dramatic: I gathered up everything Rooster had ever given me as a gift, his box of pictures, one of his fantasy books that he loves so dearly, and the one photo of us as a family I've left framed in Hawk's room and put them all in a pile on the bed and I sat and looked at it.
I stared at it until the tears came and I shook with sorrow. I fondled the sunglasses, the mini iPod with the 1-year dating anniversary inscription that reads "Thank you, Jessica, for an amazing year!", I held my platinum wedding rings and remembered their weight on my finger.
Finally, I was feeling something: disappointment, uncertainty, fear, sadness. My broken fucking heart.
I slept for a week with that pile of things on what used to be his side of the bed. It made me feel something and for that I was grateful.
Rooster and I are getting divorced. It's a done deal. We're unraveling the life we made and rebraiding a new one based on friendship and partnership. It seems fast, but we've been emotionally disconnected for much longer than we have been physically.
I wonder if I seem different to my friends and family because I definitely feel that way. I feel immense strength at going about this the hard way, the kind way, the painful way. I feel distant and cut off. I feel free as a fucking bird. I feel crushing disappointment. I feel fear. I feel hope. I feel happy.
I'm so proud of how I'm handing this, how we are handling this. It's a rite of passage, doing this the hard way. I am not a coward.
So, Feelings, I know you're out there. I'll try to check in on you every once in a while, but I know you're not going anywhere. Until then, thanks for keeping your distance and I'll see you again soon.
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ThisIsWorthwhile/~3/8sgyTRo_5Co/where-oh-where-are-my-feelings.html
Vegetarian Foodie Fridays #26
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Interview with Mini Grey: children's book author/illustrator
As part of the Children's Book Festival being celebrated across Ireland this month, I will be reviewing a number of children's books on the blog and offering a fascinating insight into the world of children's books authors and illustrators.
Where do you get inspiration for your illustrations and how have you developed your personal style? You might notice from some of my books that I absolutely LOVE drawing food. A lot of inspiration comes from looking at ordinary things around me and imagining them coming to life, or looking at everyday things from a different point of view. Also from seeing the ways things look a bit like other things - for example sausages that look a bit like fingers, spaghetti that looks rather like serpents ? the secret identity of things! My very first influences were probably the TV programmes of the Clangers and Mr Benn, which both had a very home-made (even knitted) quality. I love old recipe books and children?s encyclopedias.
What comes first: the words or the illustrations? It can be either or both! Some of my stories (e.g. The Adventures of the Dish and The Spoon) started by drawing lots of little pictures of my characters in different situations (car chases, tied to railway lines, etc). Others I?ve written down first. But then I get out scissors and glue and chop up the words and doodle pictures with them to see if any thing interesting starts happening. The magical bit is putting the words and pictures together.
How long does it take you to illustrate a book such as 'Three By the Sea'?
To actually just make all the pictures seems to take about 6 months. For Three By The Sea each double page took me about a week. I spent a lot of time painting pebbles! My pictures are usually made on very heavy watercolour paper. I use liquid watercolours, Quink ink, bleach and pencil scribbling. It?s good to let some accidents happen ? I like a bit of splattering.
Does illustrating always come easily to you, or do you ever suffer from 'illustrator's block?!I am always daunted by the prospect of trying to draw something on a clean page. I find drawing people particularly difficult. If I?m stuck I draw a tiny scruffy sketch on a scrap of paper or in my sketchbook, then scan it and enlarge it and draw over the top of it. I have a light box and I?m always using it to trace things. Cutting and sticking is another way out - make bits & pieces and cut them out and move around. Also ? nothing beats drawing a real thing - drawing a real thing tells you unexpected things about it that you wouldn?t necessarily have imagined.
Which children's books illustrators do you admire the most? My first children?s book influences were Dr Seuss, Edmund Dulac, Heath Robinson and I loved Tenniel?s illustrations for Alice through the Looking Glass and Tove Jansson?s Finn Family Moomintroll. The illustrator who really inspired me to want to make my own books was Lane Smith (The Stinky Cheese Man, The True Story of the Three Little Pigs) who pictures are edgy and a bit dangerous but also almost edible-looking. Shaun Tan?s books, e.g. The Arrival and The Lost Thing, give you the feeling of being adrift in extraordinary worlds. There?s a whole load of exciting author-illustrators making picture books right now, both new and established - the list would be a long one!
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/10/interview-with-mini-grey-childrens-book.html
Waking up at Dublin zoo
Source: http://hotcrossmum.blogspot.com/2010/09/waking-up-at-dublin-zoo.html
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Gender training for your children
Source: http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/11/23/gender-training-for-your-children/
Hiatus
I'll probably just post a bunch of pics or something. Maybe nothing at all. I have so many things I want to write about, but I simply must prioritize. Writing about what I think about the Erika Jong article a few weeks ago can take a back burner to packing my vases for now. My thoughts on it will still be around. As will what I think about separation from your child after 3 intense, loving years.
You also may have noticed that names have changed on this site. My husband (now know as "Rooster") asked to become more anonymous. I changed names for both him and our son (now "Hawk") as far back as I could one afternoon last week. It made me cry, but such is life. Hawk are my son's initials and Rooster was a nickname for my husband long before Hawk was around, so they seemed fitting.
Till then. Catch you on the flip side, all.
xo
Jess
PS: Who knows if I'll actually hold out and not post. I'm just giving myself permission not to.
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ThisIsWorthwhile/~3/I6KJdDqHtHc/hiatus.html